How to raise an independent daughter?
Our young children depend on us. The older they get, the greater become independent, if only we ourselves – in your own words and deeds – will not restrain this development. Let us try to consider this with examples from life.
The development of independence of children aged from 1 year to 3 years
Four-year-old Anya, sitting at the kitchen table, watching my mom, who examines a bag of groceries. We have reached the egg, the mother began to shift them in a special container. Anya reached for the carton to help her mother to shift the eggs. “Impossible! – said mom, catching her daughter’s arm. – You can break them. Wait, now I’ll finish”.
Do you think your mother wants to hurt her daughter, stopping her so abruptly? No. But in fact, mum’s the word, intonation showed the girl that she is young, and that adults are not counting on her help. Although, if you want to experiment, you’ll see that even 3-year-old child, if he has to explain everything, will do the job. When it will take quite some time and the mother wants Anna to help her, episode deposited in the subconscious of the child, the CE may cause the reluctance to do housework.
And a couple of examples.
. Mother and eldest daughter Tanya is setting the table for the holiday. Youngest – 3-year-old girl– also wants to participate in these preparations and takes from the cupboard a stack of plates from the festive set. “No, it’s hard for you, and Yes you can smash dishes, let Tanya. Why don’t you go to the kitchen and get bread.” Junior returns the plates to the place with tears and runs out of the room. What have in the end? Two negative result: the contrast between the sisters and disbelief in the possibility of younger. And because we know that children always tend to imitate adults, and this property can be used for good. Perhaps mom should do differently: explain how to arrange plates, and charging it to the daughters to do together.
. Nina is 8 months old. She sits well, crawls confidently and graduated to the arena. But whenever mom puts her there and go to another room or to the kitchen to do their business, hear a mournful cry, turning into wailing. What is it? Until recently, the girl almost never left alone, and so the child will feel relaxed only when it involved the mother, father, grandmother or older brother. Everyone tried to entertain her, but her nobody has taught them to entertain themselves. Cost now leave Nina alone, she demanded that her entertained. The mother could not make the< /span>city of tears and returned again to her daughter, drop everything.
As it would be better to do?
Flashes of irritability and anger girls to stop if I let her still to cry, to distract with toys and to provide an opportunity to show independence. Every child ought to take some time to herself. To withstand demanding crying baby, remember that baby requiring constant attention, is not a happy child. The state of rest and happiness must depend not only (and not so much) attention from others, but primarily themselves from the awareness of self-personality.
Daughter provide maximum opportunities to acquire knowledge and skills
Think about how to encourage your girl’s desire to do something new as to captivate its various activities. By doing this, you will affect her success in life. Ensure that she willingly learned to ski, skate, play ball, jog, gardening, or flowers, to make money. Fill her life feasible difficulties, the overcoming of which leads to success. And then the success will be the companion of her life. She will learn not to surrender to achieve victory, not afraid of defeat, because from an early age will gain confidence that will cope with any business. Consider her individual strengths and weaknesses.
Bring in the daughter’s autonomy and independence
The ultimate goal of parenting is that when the daughter leaves her father’s house, out of our care and heal yourself, then will create their own family nest in which to be happy. Because we can simulate situations that will enable the girl to show responsibility in fact, to test themselves in difficulties. She is not accustomed to independence, if she has nowhere to try their own strength, to survive failures. To teach her responsibility, start from early childhood. Be prepared for the fact that she will do stupid things, and mistakes. Teach her understanding that no one will make a choice, make decisions, and let her do it herself. She may be mistaken, but it will be her fault and her experiences of life. Let as early as possible and often takes decisions. May feels that her opinion counts. May participate in family councils. Let something be responsible.
You need a warm relationship with his daughter based on mutual understanding
Regardless of her age, the best path to a good relationship with her – good, friendly communication. The most fertile time for communication with my daughter-a teenager – “before and after midnight.” It is convenient for a friendly chat. The TV is off, the phone is not a concern, guests have been dispersed. Later time generally adjusts in a trust way. The peaceful setting encourages you to talk openly, to share thoughts, to sympathize. The current adolescents are experiencing great stress that don’t pass unnoticed for them. If you are in a difficult moment will be next to her daughter just as kind, understanding person, maybe she will decide to be Frank with you. Maybe a story about your difficulties at her age, make her an idea on how to solve a complex problem, a disappointment or humiliation, hurt wounded soul. The main thing in communication is sincerity, caring and love. Against this background we can talk about anything, because the daughter trusts you.
Time try to change your attitude towards her when she got older: now you are not a teacher, and my oldest friend, companion and unworldly adviser.
Be proud of your daughters and speak to them about it. Admire not only their looks but also intelligence, ingenuity, practicality.
Respect her choice of life partner, profession, lifestyle, and you will be able to maintain a good relationship with her.
Learn and grow with your daughter and remember that every new generation in something smarter than their parents.
Be happy and give the feeling of fullness of life to his daughter. Teach her to be happy.
Arm it with modern knowledge of psychology to understand what was going on with her, with feelings and emotions. Help her become a beautiful, confident woman.
. We grew up together with our daughter, changed his views, something rejected, but in something even more strongly. But we know one thing: the more our girl will be guided by their feelings and intuition, mind and will, the more competent she will be in life, I choose. And the more peaceful will be our life.
What might be your daughter?
If you seriously thought through and implemented everything that was written above, then most likely the feature of your maturing daughter can be like this.
She will not allow others to use it or infringe its rights. It supports only those relationships in which care and mutual love, where you give and get both sides. She’s not afraid to show their dissatisfaction, their anger and takes it as a signal that something is going wrong. She is confident that she always has a choice. It protects your privacy and ensures that others do not violate the boundaries of her personal freedom. She is able to defend their opinion not only among peers, but in conversation with senior. In a critical situation she is able to think the Spock
Ino, proportionate to its strength. But it’s still ahead, but for now you need to carefully observe the manifestations of the character and talents of your little girl, she lived in harmony with itself and nature. You have quite a challenge: educate a girl, which would combine her inherent tenderness and dreaminess, thoughtfulness and sacrifice the ability to stand up for themselves and, if necessary, their child. She must have a sense of taste to create a cosiness in the house, and business acumen, coupled with the organization to earn funds for the maintenance of this house, if not find a Prince for her. The talent of the parent zaklyuchaet
tsya in the fact that, looking at even a very small child, to anticipate what he would face in life in 10 or 20 years, and to develop character qualities that will help your adult child to endure all the trials.
Psychologists say that generally all of the problems faced by the people in his life come from his relationship with his mother, and when they seek advice or treatment, the therapy begins with the analysis of the relations mother child