On child aggression
The child forms not only the environment, but also other days of the week…
Three-year-old daughter of my friend recently asked an interesting question: “Mom, what is a Viper?” “Advanced” mom, the teacher of geography, pricked “advanced” question curious Chad, found on the Internet pictures, videos, interesting facts on the biology of snakes, and began to tell the young off that pet shop Dame, who are the vipers. The answer was absolutely puzzled glance – something mom says. And in the evening, treating dolls from toy dishes, babe hard banged his hand on a small table: “come, be silent, Viper! Quickly eat!” Parents in horror looked at each other for a wee week in kindergarten and has already begun to adopt aggressive behavior “good” educator.
…Talking with a neighbor near the entrance. Her son, four-year-old toddler Vlad, running in the yard next. Enough plastic blocks, swings at my mom: “This is the bomb! Now I will throw, and you will scatter!” I pretend to not notice anything. Although it is strange that modern children even cubes, toy creation, building, turns into a weapon. And it gets worse. Vladka took the girl doll, broke down the doll’s leg and is about to throw in the fire, which here, in the yard, bred younger boys older. Roar, tears, cry – there have already had to intervene. Take the doll, with “doctor” Vladik “treat” severed leg (uh, well, that was inserted back!). Then the young aggressor with the girl, the mistress of dolls, I collect “medical” pot and “cook” for dolls “calming tea”. Everything like peace and quiet.
“Luda, and what happens to him? Why is it doing that?” — I asked stunned by what he saw mom. You know – normal, calm, intelligent family. In the kindergarten the child can not walk, with him sitting grandmother, a sweet old lady – “God dandelion”. Asking it just to banality. Grandma, of course, can play all day long continuously with a child, you and clover grandson to warm up, and the rest, lunch. Parents for calming-activities include child carefully selected cartoons, developing the transmission. Granny is not enough of computer literacy, and it is in such situations That includes…? Correctly, the TV! Any other questions?
The apartment is very quiet now, and I heard it as “raising” a screaming one-year-old neighbours sound insulation in modern homes brings. “You… shut your mouth! Why are you yelling… this!” Here to predict the development of the situation is very simple – in a year or two the child will show the same aggression as his parents, for whom the shouting, swearing is the norm. Anyway the baby is the couple, nineteen years old, not needed at all, it was an accident.
Psychologists call many causes of aggressive behavior three to five cubs. One of the main is the lack of attention given to the child. With the help of aggressive actions pipsqueak is trying to attract the attention of parents engaged in work, household chores, each other, younger siblings, “Mom and dad, if I’m being “nice and quiet”, you don’t even look! I’m here, I also need your care!”
Very often behave aggressively insecure children here already aggression, as in older children, adolescents, aimed at self-assertion. For kids cause inappropriately aggressive behavior may serve as a limitation of the research instinct, the conflict between natural curiosity and the first parental “no”. Hyperactive children sometimes behave aggressively if they are bored, if you have nowhere to put strength and energy.
But whatever forms of child aggression — indignant crying, screaming, biting, stamping feet, physical aggression directed at a toy, peers, adults – there is a factor that trigger aggressive behavior of young children. It is observed child behaviours in the world. They imitate what they see – both good and bad. In the game with posadkoi toddlers imitate the mother-mistress, in the game with cars – my dad is the driver.
If your child watches daily viciously screaming mother and father raising his wife and children. If the garden is not lucky with the teacher for which the “Viper” — this affectionate appeal to children. If a kid watches severely aggressive adolescents in the yard. About horror movies from the TV modestly nothing to write – and so everything is clear. These are all examples to copy, follow.
And encourage the parents to prevent aggression in three to five-year olds can be the following. First of all is often to show love and attention to their children, even if you have no time. Just walk up and hug the baby. And, even if the child is angry, or has someone not to say “You are evil! You’re bad!” “You’re good, the best mom and dad. Only now you’ve been bad, let’s fix (repair, ask for forgiveness)” — this educational wording more promising.
It is also helpful to give the child the opportunity to release their energy in a productive occupation — all sorts of games, walking-Hiking, painting-masterlike. Remember the Council intelligent Pope from the movie about Buttermilk – “order in the house and the cats and dogs were, and all sorts of blind man’s bluff-pratelli, and buddies the whole bag!” Speaking of friends, socializing with peers is also necessary to prevent aggressive behavior in children, it helps children to quickly assimilate the norms of behavior in society. Cats dogs in the house also will help you raise the baby kind and caring. If only you do not speak roughly to the dog and kicked the cat.
After all, a very important example of benevolent behavior that you want to show your kid. Avoid anger, rage, invective aimed at family, colleagues, Pets. And filter what is seen by the child in the world – in cartoons (nightmares from “Tom and Jerry” — not for three years), on the street, even in the circus (sometimes severely kidding “clowns”). At least until then, until you explain everything repeating to your child that is fun, and can be only in the cartoon, nothing worth emulating. What are the effects of his behavior.
To schedule a consultation with a psychologist