The Basis for the upbringing of children must be love
Recently progress has leaped forward. Created and used complex devices, infinitely surpassing the achievements of the recent past. But why is not observed the same ubiquitous and tangible progress in the education of children, based on clear laws and principles? Most likely, because raising children is a difficult matter that requires special knowledge. And apply them it is necessary not when children begin to use drugs, steal, and then, when the children are “across the benches lie”. Scripture advises: “train up a child in the way that it does not disgrace you in the future.” Education of children in the chastening and admonition of the Lord – a guarantee that the child will grow up well-adjusted person, leading a righteous life.
With questions about parenting, we turned to the pastor of the Church “Bethany” Gorbunov A. G.
Whether raising children, to apply a method of intimidation? Or better to achieve results by explaining?
– Of course, impossible to intimidate. To understand this question, we need to figure out the value of two of the following words: to intimidate and warn. To intimidate means to put fear, to be afraid, to embarrass threat. To prevent means to say beforehand, to let them know in advance about the consequences. Don’t need to apply pressure method in spiritual matters. “The Lord is that Spirit: and where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty” (2 cor.3:17). Of course, at first glance it seems that in order to achieve results – child easier to intimidate. But simple intimidation, threat, can force a child to lie, to cheat, to hide, to be insincere. And this will be the result of fear, fear. We have a duty to warn. The child who received the warning and did not obey should be punished. This is the biblical order. If its just to intimidate, then eventually, when the child grows up, he will cease to be afraid, he will not be taught to be accountable for their actions.
– Should young children be taught to pray?
– To teach a child to pray you need unobtrusively. Children’s prayers may be awkward, several words, because they will not be able to withstand long hours of prayer. Do not need to specifically teach children to pray for their spiritual lives are still unclear, and it may be overloaded, which subsequently will affect their lives. Engage, but don’t force, be an example in prayer. A child can pray before a meal, for example, simply folded his hands. But it will be sowing. And the seed will increase and bear fruit. Let it be simple memorized phrases, but with time of these words will break the “seeds of life”, and soon the first prayer will be filled with consciousness. You will hear and see.
Jesus Christ spent with his disciples for a long time, and nowhere is it written that It involved them in a prayer until, until they asked the question: “it Happened that when He’s in one place praying, and stopped, one of His disciples said to Him: o Lord! teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples” (LK.11:1). It is very important that the child is seen praying parents. To that attach your parent’s prayer for a “closed door” of their children, and the Lord will help. Be sensitive, carefully check the condition of the heart of a child.
– How best to teach the Bible to children: in the form of images, using skits, cartoons?
– Read and share stories special, impressive. Children are more receptive to the Bible in the form of cartoons, skits, any images. Such methods to better reach. Kids love when they tell stories. When my children were small, I often read stories, especially at bedtime. This they liked, and they asked: “Dad, come on!” Don’t miss the time when children show interest in the Bible, then it will be too late.
– At the age of five years laid the main features of human nature. How to raise children? How to instill spiritual skills, so they became good Christians?
– Christian parents are important to their children to know the Lord. In the Bible it is written: “he Who loves the son since the childhood is punishing him” (Prov.13:25). “And you, fathers, do not exasperate your children, but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord” (Eph.6:4). Being a father of six children, I came to the conclusion that education begins with love. If you disassemble the verse “anyone Who loves his son, he punishes his childhood”, you can see that in the first place is the phrase “who loves. “. Love is the basic principle of education! If parents from birth, love, appreciate, respect the child, and he can then give love to others.
Children tend to imitate and begin to copy their parents, doing what their fathers and mothers. For example, if the parents forbid the child to smoke, and smoke, then their words have no meaning for the child, he will continue to smoke! And will continue to do as his parents: saying one thing and doing another.
The Bible is given a commandment to parents, so they turned their hearts to the children (LK. 1:17). Need from their early years to try to win the child’s trust. Vivid biblical example is Solomon. His father is David suffered in life is a big failure because he did not take responsibility for the family and had no contact with the older children, his oldest son Absalom rebelled against his father. The younger son of Solomon says: “For I was a son to my father, tender, and an only sight of my mother” (Prov.4:3). He was not a pampered child or a weakling, and was a well-balanced individual, and at an early age became king at such a young age he already took responsibility for the country. Tender love of parents influenced his future. A child with love, tenderness, affection, grows harmonious, responsible person, without complexes.
The example shows that the error of most parents that they are the first children brought up in excessive rigor, and late children – love and affection. And subsequently, with older children more difficult to contact. In the family because of this tension.
The basis for the education of love. It is in the first place, and then comes the punishment. I think the rod should be applied to children after 5 years. The use of corporal punishment is acceptable if the child has contact, understanding and no hard feelings, dissociation in communication. If there is no intimacy with the son, daughter, you can apply a hundred lashes and be all to no avail or bring very little benefit. Because of this, the child will hide the resentment in his heart, and he will have one thing on his mind: how would be faster to leave the house, get rid of the evil in the home atmosphere. Before disciplining a child, you should explain the reason for the use of the rod and explanation of his misconduct, as our Lord taught us: “those Whom I love I rebuke and discipline” (Rev. 3:19). Do not leave resentment in the hearts of each other. I am sure that through the children the parents will reap or reward, or punishment as the fruit in your life. It is spoken of in the Bible: “you shall Not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God, a jealous God, punishing the children for the guilt of the fathers to the third and fourth [kind] of them that hate Me and showing mercy unto thousands of them that love Me and keep My commandments” (ex.20:5,6).
When they see their adult children arranged by correctly choosing the path in life towards the service of God, then there is a second wind. Conversely, dying children is a constant injury to the parent’s hearts. So, dear parents, make every heart, all the love can you use for infants in early life, when they absorb your attention like a sponge.