What to do if a child steals
The subject of child theft is known by many parents. This problem usually relates to “shameful” and allow her sometimes under force not to everyone. If you learned that the child was stolen, do not rush to shout, to scold and punish! And even if the theft of your son or daughter like a thunder in a clear sky, still do not give in to emotions. In this situation it is important to do so not just to resolve the situation, and to find its cause and prevent negative actions in the future.
Stealing or kleptomania?
Many parents, having caught a child stealing, start to panic: the child is a thief and should be treated!
Let’s clarify the terminology. Child stealing and kleptomania have their similarities, but still, it’s very different concepts. If the child is brought from kindergarten someone else’s toy or pulled from dad’s wallet a few bucks, it’s not a reason for hospitalization.
Kleptomania – mental disorder, morbid desire to steal, is very rare and almost exclusively in adults.
So if you caught your child stealing, do not rush to carry him to the doctors. Try to find the reasons for this situation.
Why do children steal?
To understand the cause and identify the motive of the negative behavior of the child, you need to consider his age. If small children are stealing from ignorance “own” and “alien”, then teenagers, for example, pushes jealousy, prestige among peers, and even revenge.
One of the first reasons of theft in the youngest age group – elementary immaturity of the child. This means that in the mind of the child has not yet formed the concept of ownership – “this is mine, and this is theirs.” For the child it is “stolen”, he just “took”. And nothing wrong in his actions he does not see. It is therefore important to explain the value of items and explaining with examples the difference “what is good, what is bad.”
Children stealing provoke different temptations left by other children or toys, for example, money in a conspicuous place. The child has not yet formed a strong-willed sphere, and he can’t resist the temptation. Uncontrolled desire to possess any thing is the whole ordeal. And the problem is that the child is on your “wish” could not find the strength to say “no!”.
If you are not taught the child to be independent, do not give him the opportunity to take responsibility and feel older, then the theft can become a kind of affirmation .
Sometimes negative act on a child pushes a need . If you systematically refuse a child in purchasing desired items, then reinforced the desire to master this subject will provoke him to do it yourself. Even if you have no opportunity to buy a son or daughter desired object (and this is the first call and not to do), try to explain the cause of child language. But still sometimes find funds for children’s wishes.
Often psychologists are the cause of baby thefts see in the lack of attention from parents. Children do not always see the path to the goal, it is important purpose. Therefore, they subconsciously seek parental attention, not paying attention to what you are opting for this path of bad behavior.
Negative impact on the child may have excessive control by adults. In this case, theft is a protest.
Children copy adults . Always remember that. So if someone from Rodney brings home from work “that is bad” and the child sees it, he subconsciously perceives that to take someone else’s. After all, if the father (mother) does that, then is it bad?
Jealousy, too, is a cause of child stealing. This often happens in a family where the child feels that he is loved less than others, and he tries to assign objects “pet” adults to even so become like him. Much depends on parents to resolve the situation better is not the same and simultaneous purchases (although that works too), and sincere attention and care. Children need to feel love and affection of relatives.
Perhaps the child has accumulated a lot of problems that he is unable to solve them. You think that it is all nonsense, and it is a very important and serious. And theft can become distracting method from personal problems . This is an important signal for help that parents just have to notice and help your son or daughter.
There are situations when the child begins to steal money from extortion by the senior guys. Threats and intimidation are doing their job. In this situation, the intervention of adults.
Theft in adolescence has a more Mature motives. The first is the credibility among peers. The teenager is trying to attract the attention of friends, to increase their own importance and status in society.
Theft teenagers often go just for the company . So parents it is important to note the interests of the friends of his son, otherwise bad company can tighten into a large and serious problem.
How to wean a child to steal?
If you were able to determine the reason for which the child has committed the theft, then it is part of the solution. Then it all depends on you.
Psychologists insist that the need to assess the situation, but not the child. Blame his bad deed but does not hang the label of “you’re a thief!”. Even if you have “hot”, don’t say he is bad. Bad behavior, bad action and a bad situation, but even with all this, you love him. Let it clear that you are upset, but don’t blame him personally.
Before blaming, it is also important to understand: perhaps the child didn’t steal the toy and switched with another child. Explain to your child that you can take only their own, and take someone else’s without permission is impossible.
If the child still took someone else’s thing, please immediately return it. I recommend readers Mirsovetov to do it with your child. Prove that in the most difficult situations you are always ready to help him.
If the child does not feel guilty, it is important clearly to understand that you are negatively judging his behavior.
If a child pleads guilty, put the emphasis on the status of the injured party – what does the boy or girl who you took (stole!) this thing? It is important to explain and to learn to feel yourself in the place of others. An indispensable rule will serve as the proverb: “Treat others as you would want them to treat you.”
Do not scold the child with strangers. Yes, shame can play, but not always good. The child may withdraw and continue their bad deeds with revenge for his humiliation.
All disassembly arrange only at home. Do not wash your dirty linen in public. As they say, scold in publish, praise in public. This should be a confidential conversation, not an interrogation and repentance. Do not impose a strong negative attitude, or the child in the future will begin to be thoroughly hidden all their bad deeds.
So do not compare their child. He might think that if the “Light does not do this, then it is good, and I did, then I’m bad.”
Never dwell unpleasant subject if it is closed. And try not to create situations that can cause a child to steal.
And most importantly. Initially agree that the law of education was one for all. This means that if the Pope bans, mother and grandmother, too, for a ban. Otherwise the child will manipulate you, and the house will grow up to be the idol, to whom all is permitted.
If all your attempts to wean the child to steal not succeed, and you notice that this thing has become a bad habit, don’t be afraid to ask for help from a psychologist. Expert advice will help you solve the problem and build relationships in the family.